Debating About Divorce?
Or do you want a divorce, but your spouse does not?
A planned separation can help you and your spouse determine if divorce is unavoidable for you.
Peggy thought she wanted a divorce, but her husband, Michael, did not. It was so difficult to know what to do! Every time they were having a nice conversation Peggy thought there might be hope. When they argued, Peggy became convinced divorce was the only option. There was so much pressure on each and every conversation.
Peggy could not take it any longer, so Michael agreed to meet with her and an attorney mediator for a planned separation. They chose an attorney mediator so that they could make sure they understood the legal repercussions of the separation, and have the benefits of a neutral mediator who would not take sides.
The main goals of the planned separation were for them to:
Separate so they could have some space to clear their heads. The planned separation is temporary and they reviewed all their options to determine what was best for them.
Determine how they were going to work on their marriage. Peggy and Michael were happy to know they had other options besides counseling. They chose to go with the Retrouvaille program.
Determine how long the separation will be. Peggy and Michael were told that during this time they should not try to determine if they were going to divorce or not. They would decide at the end of the agreed upon timeframe. That was so the pressure of that decision would be off their shoulders and they could just focus on their marriage.
How they would manage their finances. This was important because they were doing things a little differently as part of their separation so they wanted to make sure they were on the same page as to how things would be handled.
Develop a parenting plan for their children. Peggy and Michael did not want to disrupt the children too much, so they decided to nest so it would be easier for them.
There were other details to work out as well. The point of working with a professional was to make sure all the details of the separation were worked out so there would be no arguments about the separation.
As a result of the planned separation, Peggy softened. She found the Retrouvaille program to be really helpful. Her and Michael stayed married and they are both happy.
Other couples divorce as a result of going through a planned separation. Even so, the planned separation is usually helpful for the following reasons:
It helps them both to have a greater understanding of where their marriage is at so they both understand why divorce is unavoidable for them. People are calmer when they work on their dissolution, and no one plays the victim.
Helps people to have less conflict after the divorce. Many times people have unresolved emotions at the time they divorce. That unresolved conflict causes conflict after the divorce. By working through all those emotions before they divorce they have less conflict after the divorce. This is especially important when people are parenting children together.
No regrets after the divorce. This is important. Some studies have indicated that 50% of the people who divorce regret it afterwards. They don’t think they will before they divorce, but things change afterwards and people regret it.
As an attorney mediator I have mediated many planned separations for couples. I can help you develop a plan so you will know if divorce is unavoidable for you.
I work with clients in Cleveland, Akron, Independence, Brecksville, and all of Cuyahoga, Summit, and Lorain counties in Ohio. Contact me today so I can help you obatin the clarity and support you need.
Do you have questions about starting a divorce or dissolution, how long a divorce or dissolution takes place, or how much a divorce or dissolution will cost, please contact me and I will be more than happy to answer your questions.