Differences Between a Litigated Divorce and Mediation
There are many reasons why people prefer mediation over a litigated divorce. Divorces are litigated, meaning people fight for what they want through the courts. When people mediate, they agree on all the terms and file for dissolution with the courts.
Cost Of Litigated Divorce vs. Cost of Mediated Dissolution
· The average cost of a litigated divorce is $15,000 - $70,000 per spouse in attorney fees.
· The average cost of a mediated dissolution is $1,600 - $2,100 per couple in mediator fees.
Duration Of Process
· A litigated divorce takes close to a year to resolve all the matters. Litigation is adversarial. The contentious arguing between attorneys tends to drag things out and cause delays. People who need temporary support may have to wait several months before they start receiving support.
· A mediated dissolution takes anywhere from three weeks to several months. In mediation, people work together to achieve a resolution, so two to three appointments are usually needed to reach an agreement. Then, an additional appointment is made to review the agreements.
Control Of Process
· In divorce litigation, the magistrate or judge determines the pace. Some attorneys will only resolve issues when there is a hearing, and the hearings can be spaced months apart. The judge will not make a final decision until there is a trial, which can take close to a year, and the decision may not be filed for a few months.
· In mediation, you are in control of how often you meet. Some clients want to meet once a week until the process is completed. Other couples need more time between meetings. In mediation, you can also schedule the sessions for a day and time that is convenient for you instead of the court's schedule.
Control Of Outcome
· A judge or magistrate thinks they did well if both spouses are unhappy. (They have permitted to be quoted as saying this.) They believe it means they were neutral and did not favor one party over another.
· In mediation, no agreement is reached unless you decide to agree. This means you can be satisfied with the outcome. It is common for people not to agree on everything as we go through the process, but mediation is effective at helping people work things out so that they do agree. There is always a way; sometimes, it just takes a little time to work through things. Sometimes, people can only think of two ways of resolving an issue when they first start, but working together can develop many other ideas.
Impact on Parenting Relationships
· Litigating parenting issues is like putting gas on a fire. People argue for what they want by putting the other parent down, and frequently, the parents can barely stand each other by the end of the litigation process. The children can feel like they are caught in the middle, and the effects of such conflict make them suffer.
· Mediation lessens tension and helps parents work together to make good decisions, even when the parents have conflict at the start of the mediation process. The ability to make decisions gives people confidence that they will be able to work together in the future. I recently saw a previous mediation client who said he and his ex were getting along great because of me. It was because they chose an effective process that enabled them to work together, not just on the parenting issues, but they were able to resolve the financial problems of caring for the kids.
Disclosure of Financial Information
· Sometimes, people withhold financial information, and institutions are subpoenaed to obtain information. This is helpful when one does not disclose the information on one's own, but it does add to the costs and delays of litigation.
· A judge or magistrate will ask each spouse if they fully disclosed all their financial information and if they believe their spouse did so before they dissolved a marriage. If one spouse states they did not receive everything they wanted, their marriage will not be resolved. Due to this, people disclose their information in mediation.
If you would like to protect your finances, have complete control over the process and outcomes of your divorce, as well as protect your children from an adversarial divorce, consider mediation.
If you would like to learn more about which divorce process is right for your situation, or if you have any questions at all about divorce, call me at (440) 724-3197 or email me at Laurie@MaloneMediationandLaw.com and I can help guide you.